Have you ever felt exhausted even after a full night’s sleep?
Found yourself overthinking a simple conversation?
Struggled to relax while lying on a beautiful beach or finally taking a holiday?
I have.
For years, I thought I had a motivation problem.
I believed I needed more discipline, better routines, and more willpower.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
What I actually had was a nervous system that had forgotten what safety felt like.
Learning to regulate my nervous system changed not only how I handled stress, but how I slept, worked, loved, travelled, and showed up in everyday life.
It’s also the reason I wrote my newest guide, How to Regulate Your Nervous System in 7 Days.
Before we dive into the habits, let’s start with one important truth.
Your Nervous System Is Not Working Against You
Your nervous system has one primary job:
To keep you alive.
Every second of every day, it’s asking one simple question:
“Am I safe?”
If the answer is yes, your body relaxes.
Your breathing slows.
You digest your food.
You think more clearly.
You sleep better.
You become more patient and connected.
If the answer is no—even when there’s no immediate danger—your body prepares to survive.
That’s why an unanswered email, financial pressure, relationship conflict, or constant notifications can leave you feeling just as overwhelmed as a genuine physical threat.
The problem isn’t that your body is broken.
It’s that it’s doing its job.
Seven Habits That Support a Calmer Nervous System
After years of teaching Pilates, facilitating retreats, sailing across the Pacific Ocean, and working with hundreds of people, I’ve noticed something.
Lasting change rarely comes from dramatic transformations.
It comes from small habits.
Here are the seven practices that have had the biggest impact on my own life.
1. Breathe Before You React
Your breath is one of the fastest ways to communicate safety to your nervous system.
Before checking your phone.
Before replying to a difficult message.
Before walking into an important meeting.
Pause.
Take three slow breaths.
Simple doesn’t mean ineffective.
2. Protect Your Sleep
I used to think sleep was something I earned after finishing everything on my to-do list.
Now I see it differently.
Sleep is how my nervous system repairs itself.
Your morning begins the night before.
Create an evening routine that tells your body it’s safe to rest.
3. Move Every Day
Movement isn’t punishment.
It’s medicine.
Whether it’s Pilates, walking, stretching, swimming, or dancing in your kitchen, your body was designed to move.
Stress prepares us for action.
Movement helps us complete that stress response.
4. Spend Time in Nature
One of the greatest gifts sailing has given me is silence.
No notifications.
No traffic.
No endless distractions.
Just the ocean.
Nature reminds our nervous system that life doesn’t always need to move at the speed of urgency.
Even a twenty-minute walk in a park can make a difference.
5. Eat With Presence
Food is more than fuel.
It’s also an experience.
Try eating one meal today without your phone.
Notice the colours.
The smells.
The flavours.
Slow down.
Your digestion—and your nervous system—will thank you.
6. Experience Safe Touch
Human beings are wired for connection.
A hug.
Holding someone’s hand.
A massage.
Even placing your own hand over your heart.
Safe touch reminds the body that it doesn’t have to stay on high alert.
7. Choose Relationships That Feel Safe
The older I get, the less interested I am in exciting relationships.
I’m interested in peaceful ones.
The people around us influence our nervous system every single day.
Choose people who leave you feeling calmer, not more confused.
Progress, Not Perfection
One of the biggest misconceptions about nervous system regulation is that there’s a finish line.
There isn’t.
Life will continue to bring stress.
Unexpected change.
Loss.
Conflict.
The goal isn’t to eliminate those experiences.
The goal is to recover more quickly.
To know how to come back to yourself.
Again and again.
That’s why I created the Spark Method™:
S — Slow Down
P — Presence
A — Awareness
R — Regulation
K — Keep Going
Whenever life feels overwhelming, these five steps help me return to safety.
My Invitation to You
If you’ve recognised yourself in this article, I’d love to help you take the next step.
I’ve created a practical guide called How to Regulate Your Nervous System in 7 Days.
It’s designed to be read in about an hour but practised for a lifetime.
To celebrate its release, I’m also opening applications for a limited number of FREE Nervous System Assessments.
Together, we’ll explore your nervous system patterns and create a personalised action plan to help you move from survival mode toward greater calm, safety, and connection.
Because you don’t need to become someone else.
You simply need to build a life your nervous system no longer has to recover from.
One breath.
One habit.
One spark at a time.
