Some love stories aren’t linear.
They’re messy. Tender. Frustrating. Electric.
They push every button — and still… you stay. You want to understand. To heal. To keep choosing each other.
That’s what it’s like when an anxious soul falls for an avoidant one.
And guess what?
It doesn’t mean it’s doomed.
In fact — if both people are willing — this love can be wildly transformative.
Here’s how we begin.
✨ 1. Pause Before Reacting
When your nervous system gets activated, don’t rush to text, chase, or shut down.
Pause. Breathe. Feel.
A few sacred seconds can shift the whole outcome.
✨ 2. Speak Fears, Not Blame
Try this:
💬 “I feel scared when I don’t hear from you.”
Instead of:
💬 “You never care about me.”
Truth softens when spoken from the heart. It invites closeness instead of defense.
✨ 3. Make Rituals for Closeness & Space
Anxious partners need connection. Avoidant partners need breathing room.
Both can coexist.
Try a daily check-in (even 10 mins)
+
Carve out protected solo time — no guilt, no punishment.
Safety comes from rhythm.
✨ 4. Self-Regulate First
Before reaching for each other, return to yourself.
Your breath. Your body. Your heart.
When you calm your nervous system, you stop the cycle of chasing and withdrawing.
And from there?
Love feels safe again.
✨ 5. Ask for Help When You’re Stuck
Patterns run deep. You don’t have to untangle them alone.
Whether it’s coaching, therapy, or community — safe mirrors accelerate healing.
Let yourself be supported.
✨ 6. Embrace the Difference
You’re not broken. You’re just built differently.
Your love languages aren’t misaligned — they’re mistranslated.
Try using Nonviolent Communication:
- What I observe
- What I feel
- What I need
- What I request
Simple. Sacred. Soften the edges — and watch love grow.
💌 If this speaks to your heart and you’re craving tools, healing spaces, and soulful community…
Come join us inside the Slow Secrets Tribe:
slow-secrets-tribe.kit.com/starthere
We talk nervous system healing.
Conscious love.
Brave communication.
Soft strength.
You’re not too much.
You’re not too needy.
You’re just learning how to love in a new way.
We all are.
With love,
Julie 💗
