There’s a quiet ache that shows up in relationships, not always loud, but deeply familiar.

The ache of not knowing:
Is this growth… or am I just forcing it?

If you’ve ever felt like you’re trying so hard to make it work but wondering why it still feels so heavy, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

You’re just at the edge of an important truth.

Here’s how I’ve learned to tell the difference between soulful growth and fundamental incompatibility:

1. Communication feels clumsy but open

🌀 Growth: You both stumble, but stay in the room. You try. You repair.
🚫 Incompatibility: You’re met with stonewalls, shutdowns, or blame. Every conversation feels like walking on eggshells.

2. Values sometimes clash

🌀 Growth: There’s room to learn, to expand. You stay curious.
🚫 Incompatibility: Core values like freedom, honesty, or family are non-negotiably different. And no amount of love can rewrite your truth.

3. There’s tension

🌀 Growth: It hurts sometimes, but leads to deeper intimacy.
🚫 Incompatibility: It loops. The same argument, the same tears, the same pain. Nothing shifts.

4. Emotional needs differ

🌀 Growth: You both stretch to meet each other.
🚫 Incompatibility: One person always feels unseen, too much, or not enough. Like love is something to earn.

5. You feel unsure

🌀 Growth: You doubt the process… not yourself.
🚫 Incompatibility: You question your worth. You feel anxious, drained, or like you’ve lost parts of yourself just to stay.

So, what do you do when it feels like forcing?

You pause.
You breathe.
You stop shrinking just to stay in something that was never designed for your truth.

And most importantly you let yourself grieve what could’ve been, while holding space for what’s still possible.

✨ Because the right love?
It doesn’t ask you to abandon yourself.
It meets you exactly where you are. With softness. With honesty. With reverence.

🌿 Ready to reconnect with your truth?

If this spoke to your heart… it’s time to come home to yourself.

Join the Slow Secrets Tribe  a gentle, soul-led space for women who are ready to stop proving and start receiving. You’ll find rituals, reflections, and reminders that you are never too much and always enough.

Your healing doesn’t have to be loud.
It just has to be honest.
And it begins here.

👉 slow-secrets-tribe.kit.com/starthere

With love, always 
Julie 💗