Women like to take their time. We love to be caressed, to feel held. The point is we need to feel safe, respected, and appreciated. We aspire to be seen, and loved for who we truely are. There’s a need for connection, and truth. Every stroke awakens intimacy, naked body sliding against naked body, discovering each other, inviting one another into each other’s’ space, it almost should feel like a dance, until that moment where both bodies connect. There is no rush, and its less organised, it flows. 

 

The true happiness lies in making your partner feel pleasure, when you begin to connect your love for your partner with her sexuality. There are countless erogenous zones all over the body. It’s a crime if you haven’t been able to make the woman you love reach orgasm, because only then can you see her true beauty. When a woman orgasms, it looks like the energy just shoots through her entire body, just like fireworks shooting directly up into the universe. It looks like an explosion of light and pleasure. 

 

Today, sex has been reduced to its most primitive form; the act of reproduction, characterized first and foremost by speed. What do you think is the average amount of time spent from foreplay to orgasm today? 

 

• It’s 20 minutes. 

 

Also known as male-focused, orgasm-obsessed, twenty-minutes “JUNK SEX”. Said by author Adam Tokunaga, the most celebrated sexpert in Japan. I have to admit, I agree.

 

What do you think are the 3 biggest complaints by women about sex?

• Unimaginative sex

• Lack of foreplay

• Partner reaches orgasm too quickly

 

What does true sex require?

• Dedication

• Time

• More than 20 minutes

 

In other words, caressing and stimulating each other to your hearts’ content. The level of pleasure you can get from sex is proportional to the sexual energy you put in. The feedback loop of pleasure is endless, and it is the gateway to the infinite world of sexual bliss. 

 

Intimacy and sex start with the eyes. It is the brain that translates the feeling of pleasure. The eye is like the lens of the camera. As partners, you should focus on how to open your partner up mentally. Stop focusing on your own pleasure. In his book Slow Sex Secrets, Mr. Tokunaga states that 99% of the women in the world have never experienced true feminine sexual pleasure. 

 

Tantric massage therapists, like him, perform orgasmic massages to a variety of women that dare to venture into the unknown, where I personally found in India that the depth of my sexual energy had in fact no limits. 

 

Jesus! Even my mom finally got one! Ha! It was one of the best days of my life!

 

She told me:

 

“Julie! You must buy the crystal wand! It’s unbelievable!”

 

I laughed REALLY HARD and told her:

 

“Yeah, I have one!”

 

At 69 years old, my mom discovered spiritual sex toys. Ha! Bless her, and thank you, Mantak Chia! Taoists and Tantra have taught since centuries that sexuality is a tool to transform the spirit. 

 

She writhes and squirmed, she arched her back, she trembled with pleasure, screamed, and moaned like a wild animal, she slowly sank into an ocean of orgasm. She finally realized there was nothing wrong with her body, all she needed was a road map to pleasure. With the right tools and the right partner, we can perform miracles for oneself. 

 

I today promise myself to make as many women experience this EXPLOSION of PLEASURE as I possibly can!

“It will be western women who changed the world.”- The Dalai Lama

 

Watch Nicole Daedone TED Talk: The cure for hunger in the western woman, author of Slow Sex.

 

“It will be turned on western women, around the world that will change the world. It will be turned on women and those who dare to stroke us.” – Nicole Deadone

 

80% of the women out there have faked an orgasm, have you? 

I know I have, and obviously, my mom has too. Ha!

         

The best advice is to take the pressure off, avoid forcing it, stop worrying about it, it is NOT the only purpose of sexual intercourse. Then suddenly, when the time is right and the climax is at its highest, the orgasm will surprise you! BOOM! 

 

Men are obsessed with their own ejaculation, which means they don’t stand a chance of telling the difference between a faked orgasm and a real one. Women are born actresses.

 

It is physically impossible for a woman to experience real pleasure in less than 20 minutes, foreplay included. Lack of time is the fundamental problem with sex in modern society today. 

 

The essence of sexual pleasure is that each of a woman’s erogenous zones creates a different sensation of pleasure. As you stimulate different zones, you’ll be able to see different aspects of your partner’s sensuality. Every sensation finds a unique expression in a woman’s sensual reaction during sex. 

 

2 hours of sex is barely enough, and passes like a flash, when done right; SLOW sex is much more “fun” than a movie or an amusement park. 

 

To understand what I mean, you must understand the difference between “overflowing” and “filling up”, the difference between orgasm and experiencing pleasure. 

 

It is like a glass, gradually filling with water when your body experiences pleasure. The moment where the glass is so full of water, that it overflows, is an orgasm. It feels like an explosion of sexual energy, “an orgasm”; and the build-up of sexual energy, through stimulation and excitement is “pleasure”. 

 

The thing is women have an unlimited capacity to feel pleasure. What is important here, is to understand that this potential has been given to all women equally. The problem is that their partners can’t manage their sexual energy properly, the attitudes and techniques men have brought to sex have been incorrect. There is literally no limit, the pleasure women can experience, is something men will never be able to imagine. Imagine the water that you can fit into a dam, try and quantify the energy surging forth in an earth-shattering explosion as the dam breaks. That’s how we can explain how sexual energy is stored up. Practicing junk sex, is like storing sexual energy in a drinking glass, when it has the capacity to rise up until it reaches the size of a dam. 

 

Feels a bit like a waste, doesn’t it? 

 

The secret is to shift your attention to pleasure, rather than orgasm…

 

Ejaculation is also created by a switch in your brain. What if I told you to try and hold it in, for as long as possible? The intensity of the orgasm coming will increase and multiply. Gentlemen, by reducing the junk sex in your brain and penis, you’ll achieve more sensations and enjoy the feeling of pleasure afforded by sex. 

 

Women experience multi-layered climaxes, compared to it the male ejaculation is a pretty simple thing.  The major difficulty sex presents, is making these two very different wheels spin together, to reach its highest peak at the same time, and coordinate the explosion together, exclusively on feeling. In my opinion, that is the real pleasure of sex, but then I love new challenges, so… 

 

The real question is, how do you feel? Feel free to reach out and inquire about our 8 weeks coaching sessions “Slow Intimacy Secrets”, for singles, couples, LGBT, … @slowintimacy #slowsecrets

 

I mean don’t get me wrong, I ‘m not saying never orgasm. That would just be strange. I’m just saying Instead of seeing it as your goal, just forget about it, and focus on the pleasure of the present moment. Then when you do reach, it will feel like a bonus. A delicious explosive mind-blowing bonus. 

 

I want you to realize there exists an entire galaxy of pleasure out there. The only way to reach that space is if you have sex with no thoughts for your own ejaculation. 

 

To get you to enjoy sex on a higher plane, you have to cure your mind and body of that barrier of junk sex. Let yourself focus on a world of sensuality with a free mind in a free flow of time, I invite you to experience Slow Sex. 

 

Think of ejaculation, as a bonus. If you put what I’m telling you into practice, you and your partner will experience pleasure, like you have never known before. Step away from mutual masturbation, think outside of the box. Actually, there is no more box. What do you see now? 

 

Just forget the clock. Take the time to get your partner’s wheel turning. Let your partner know that you have all the time in the world. A psychologically relaxed mind will generate a state of mind that more efficiently converts stimulus into sexual pleasure. 

 

Slow intimacy will raise an entire new state of awareness. It will origin in the bedroom, but then as time passes, you’ll observe the overflow of that energy into the rest of your life. Then, since we are all connected, into the rest of the world, and finally into the universe.

Pay it forward, it starts with you…