Relationship Tantra and Tantric Couples
It was such a pleasure to have as guests on our channel Slow Secrets, these relationship Tantra specialists, this inspiring tantric couple. Tara and Dion, are the most beautiful tantric couple that I have met in my life. I joined one of your Fundamentals of Tantra seminars (FOT) in Bali, by The Embodied Awakening Academy, and it blew my mind! Because it’s everything I write in my book Slow Intimacy.
First question: How is it as a couple, and also while facilitating these beautiful workshops, relationship Tantra with couples, what is your view on Tantra, in for example, long-term relationships? Where maybe the spark of intimacy has faded. Because let’s face it, it’s usually is the last thing on our to-do list.
That chemistry is a lot harder to maintain but the beauty and epicness of relationship Tantra is actually chemistry grows month after month, year after year, and that’s certainly been our experience. We continue to have our minds blown by the places that our lovemaking goes to.
What I love so much about Tantra and working with couples, is it gives them this fresh experience of what relationships and intimacy can be. That completely shifts this belief that chemistry has to die in long-term relationships. It’s just simply not true, it’s just that we’re not taught how to keep that alive in relationships. The key here is polarity.
You know after long term, after a while, we can just become best friends and buddies. Usually like the good teammate thing. Then not as much emphasis is put on the romance and the attraction and the the sexiness that we put effort in the beginning of relationships.
Tantra has some beautiful teachings of how to do both outside the bedroom and inside the bedroom intimacy. The two are completely correlated, what happens outside of the bedroom is just as important. Couples tend to go, we’ve just got to work inside the bedroom, but it is equally, if not more important outside the bedroom.
Julie: Beautiful, you mentioned polarities. I think many people actually don’t know about relationship Tantra and the polarities. Maybe you could explain a little bit more about that?
Tara: Yes! When we first come into relationship, often the woman’s in her feminine and she’s feeling sexy and putting in effort for that feminine aliveness and radiance, that Shakti energy that they refer to in Hinduism.
The man’s is really strong and grounded, and claiming his woman. He has that presence and stillness. He’s holding that masculine, more Shiva energy, as they refer to in Hinduism. relationship
But what happens through time is usually both people end up in their masculine. Because our world is completely dominated by this masculine approach to life.
There becomes a lot of like:
Talking about the kids,
Talking about our work,
and more focused on doing rather than being, feeling and experiencing.
The journey into polarity is really the masculine, the man in the relationship, really owning his masculine needs, and what they are for.
- Spaciousness for purpose,
- for brotherhood,
- for stillness,
- for silence
- and when he does that and honors that, he’s filling his cup.
In his masculine energy and he feels like a man and then the same side for the woman but opposite is she is feeling more rather than thinking. She’s taking time again to be with her sisters and follow her joy, putting in effort to really embody that female radiance.
Rather than going into the tracksuit phase of relationships where it becomes comfortable and you just like in your trackies and not putting in as much effort. Is for the feminine to keep that aliveness and that sensuality. Which is our gift in our magnetism and how we attract the masculine to us.
Alive in the relationship and the beauty of that is it’s it’s the best inspiration for a man to keep showing up and to keep planing his woman and to keep putting in effort is through our feminine aliveness and irradiance and and sensuality and it benefits us because then it’s getting out of our head and into our feeling body.
Dion: I think you touched on Tara, just the importance of also spending time with other men, and for Tara with women, to inspire and cultivate those energies.
The sort of cliche mainstream thing would be, to the pub and drink with men, or watch sports and she would go to the hairdresser and complain about her man.
I just got back from a week-long men’s retreat, that I assisted on, which brought me even more deeper into my own masculine energy and power. Now the last week we’ve had together, has just gone to a whole other level of relating. That’s really well to get the support of the community.
We failed at this in previous relationships, Dion will say the same thing and so many couples who are in that codependent relationship they make their partner the source of everything:
– Their joy
– Their happiness
– Their pleasure
– Their safety
– Their purpose
Like everything and it’s impossible to hear that advocating that we don’t feel like getting intimate with each other.
If you don’t do that then I’m going to be resentful and withdraw… I mean we’ve both been there in the past with relationships. Also when you work together, and you spend so much time in the work environment and then the evenings become work… I’ve had a long-term relationship where I didn’t, we didn’t make love for two or three years or something.
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